Bad Romance
by Jensiie
Summary: An BPOV and EPOV. Bella is only 17 and has somehow still managed to have a rough life As ever But what is causing all of this fear? Who does she have to be scared of and why? Will it be Edward to the rescue? Or will he bring everything crashing down? AH


_**A/N **_

_**I do not own any of the characters in this story, they're the property of a very lucky lady named Stephanie Meyer as if you didn't already know ;)**_

_**This is my first attempt at a FanFiction, so sit back and enjoy.**_

_**This is a chapter introducing the character of Bella, the following ones will be far longer :)**_

_**Chapter One**_

Bella's POV

I had my hands clasped tightly to my chest as Charlie drove me down the highway away from the airport in his police cruiser. I was watching the droplets of rain race down the window noting how they sometimes joined together to form a stronger, more determined droplet. But each still had the same fate when it reached the bottom, no matter how strong they appeared to be...They all broke apart.

"Are you alright Bella, honey?" his voice interrupted my reverie and was laced with a concern that I didn't understand. He couldn't possibly know? I hadn't told anyone, how _could _he? My heart raced at the very thought of the idea. What if _he'd _got to him, after all, he'd managed to deceive my mother. My poor, gullible, naive mother...

"I'm fine." My voice decided to betray me on the second word as it cracked noticeably. I cringed inwardly hoping that dad hadn't been paying too much attention. I couldn't fall apart. Not again, I wasn't going to go back to that dark place. _Never again._

"You sure, Kiddo? You're going to dig holes right through that little hand of yours if you carry on". He placed his right hand on top of mine keeping his eyes on the road, I looked down to my lap where I found that my knuckles were white, I could see the indentations that my fingernails had made as I was attempting to claw away the skin. To remove the outside layer.

If only things were that simple.

I unclasped my hands, set them separately on my knees and sighed, enjoying the feeling, the _relief_ that was now coursing through my body. He didn't know. "I'm _fine _Dad." This time my voice didn't fail me and I seemed to manage to speak with some sort of conviction. Apparently it was enough to convince Charlie as he patted me on the shoulder supportively and returned his right hand to the 2 O'clock position on the steering wheel.

"You're going to love it here Bells. It'll be a huge adjustment from a city like Phoenix, but I think you'll cope well enough. I've arranged for you to attend Forks High School, they're giving you until Monday..." I somehow managed to tune out his voice. My mind was preoccupied with other, more important matters. How many times could I run away from my past? Actually, scratch that. Is it even _possible _to run away from your past? I was sure it would catch up to me eventually, and when it did there was going to be an almighty collision. I'm not talking car crash collision, I'm talking Armageddon here. The end of _my_ world. I couldn't let people find out, it would come crashing down around me like a house of cards and...

"Bella?..._Bella?_ Are you even listening to me?"

"Huh?" he pulled me backed to reality with a bump. What I wouldn't give to be able to stay trapped, hidden inside my own mind along with my subconscious, _she _had it easy. I knew I could protect myself from anything there, I'd been putting up defensive barriers all of my life. How had _he _managed to break through them? Or perhaps the more important question was _why had I let him?_

"I said your Uncle Riley will be so pleased to see you", my entire body tensed at the thought of this, my fingernails now digging through my jeans into my leg instead. Riley wasn't exactly my favourite person in the world. In fact, he was far from it. He was a lowlife drunk, that's how I remember him at my tenth birthday and _that's_ how it was going to stay. Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic. I couldn't imagine that any amount of AA meetings could solve his issues that ran deeper than the Atlantic Ocean. I wondered which poor woman he was stringing along now, and whether she was aware of his..._tendencies._

"Yeah. Sure Dad", it was always best just to humour him. I didn't intend on putting any rifts between us while I was here, we'd been driven apart enough for a lifetime and I wasn't going to let it happen again. When Mom left him he was distraught, he couldn't hold himself together. I think that I'm the only thing holding him together; I'm his one link back to Mom, his rock. If anything were to happen to me, the glue holding the pieces of his life together would come unstuck and I couldn't let that happen, I had to stay strong, if not for myself then for him. What gave me the right to cause him any more misery than my birth had already done in the first place? If my Mom hadn't gotten herself knocked up at such a young, tender age then they'd more than likely still be together and he'd be blissfully happy. I couldn't help but feel responsible. I took a quick glance in the rear-view mirror and saw that I had a frown on my face, I quickly got rid of it before I met Charlie's gaze awkwardly. I swiftly returned my eyes to my hands. We were silent throughout the rest of the journey.

Dad pulled into the drive of number 187 and cut off the engine. He turned to face me with a genuine smile spread right the way across his face; it had been a while since I'd witnessed that much happiness. It was completely infectious and I found myself giving him a shaky smile in return.

"Welcome home, honey", I could hear the smile across his face resounding in his vocal chords.

"Thanks Dad. It's great to be back". I hadn't visited my Dad in about three years, I used to come every spring break, but since I became so attached to _him _I found myself visiting less and less, I'd given him too much control. If I could turn back the clock and do it all again, there are definitely a few major changes that I'd make, _starting_ with the company I kept.

I sighed a heavy sigh and felt my body relax. The familiarity of Forks was something I found oddly comforting, it took me back to my childhood. To times of innocence and friendship.

How the times had changed.

I clambered clumsily out of the passenger side of my Dad's cruiser and went around to the trunk to get my things.

"Don't worry about that sweetie; I'll get those for you, you need to rest that arm of yours. Why don't you go and check out your old room? Its been a while", at that he winked at me and I gave him yet another unsure smile.

I took his advice and chose to do exactly that. I pushed open the front door with my good hand and walked through the living room which consisted of a sofa, chair and a small television. A couple of photos on the mantelpiece caught my attention as I walked towards the staircase, so I took a detour on my way upstairs. The smile caught from Charlie remained on my face as I scanned over the family gathering that was frozen inside this picture frame. It was a picture of Mom's Thirtieth birthday party from the previous year, I stared at her face intently noticing that she hadn't changed one bit. She was still a beautiful, bubbly blonde with enough happiness radiating off of her for the entire city of Phoenix, the smile she had on her face reached her eyes, she looked liked a model off the cover of Vogue for God's sake. How could I be her daughter? I was her complete opposite and in more ways than just the colour of my ordinary brown hair. I continued looking at all of the faces until I reached the one who was standing next to me, as I took the image in I felt the smile slowly drop from my face. His arm was around my waist and my head was resting on his shoulder. I'd forgotten what it was like to smile like that, to feel _safe_. I found my eyes welling up with tears that I knew would never fall, I've cried myself dry I've got nothing left in me anymore, I was hollow. An empty shell. I let out a shaky breath that I hadn't even realised I was holding and placed the photograph face down on the mantelpiece with a quivering hand and made my way towards the staircase.

I walked to the small room at the end of the landing and pushed the door open to my old room with my foot and found that everything was exactly as I had left it three years ago. From the lavender walls to the potted cactus sitting on my window sill. I felt a sense of calm wash over me. It was good to know that it was possible for _some_ things to remain constant. I closed the door behind me and locked it. I made my way over to the ancient computer and brought it to life, probably for the first time in three years, it let out a groan of agony as it booted up my desktop. I decided to check my e-mail first and found that there were two e-mails amongst all of the junk asking me if I needed a holiday or health insurance. One was from Mom and the other was from an address that I didn't recognise. I read my Mom's first seen as she's a worrier. Renée could _always _find something to panic about. She'd practically written me an essay on how much she was already missing me, hoping that I'd had a safe flight and that I'd gotten settled. I checked the time that she'd sent it...Figures, ten minutes after I'd taken off. I smiled weakly at this thought and wrote a quick reply telling her that I was fine and that she could call whenever she wanted to talk.

After hitting the send button I checked out the other email, while I waited for the ancient dial up connection to load I wandered downstairs to make myself a cup of strong coffee, the long journey had sapped me of energy and I could really do with a boost, when I'd finished I carried it up to my room, I blew away the steam as I kicked the door shut again behind me. I sauntered back over to my monitor and looked at the message on my screen, my body instantly froze, I lost my grip on the mug and it crashed to the floor the coffee seeped into a puddle, I fell to my knees and grabbed some tissues from the box on my desk, frantically mopping at the brown pool on the floorboards. Contained within the message were two simple words, but that was all that was needed to send me over the edge that I'd been teetering on for so long now. I sensed my eyes glaze over as I stared at the screen, or was it just water that was clouding my vision?

_No. I can't cry._

I wiped my eyes with the palms of my hands and drew in two steadying, deep breaths. It's fine, he can't get to me here. No way. Not now.

I heard a knocking come from behind me that made me jump with a start.

"Bella? You in there? I have your things so you can settle in". I turned off the monitor to my computer and walked towards the door, checking my face in the mirror as I went. I'd managed to avoid bloodshot eyes. _This time._ I turned the knob to open the door to be greeted by Charlie who was standing there holding my bags, I walked back from the doorframe, giving him silent permission to enter. My Dad and I had that sort of understanding, we didn't necessarily need words to communicate, it was almost as if we could read each other's mind.

_If only Bella. Maybe then someone would understand. Maybe he could help._

Who was my subconscious kidding? I was beyond help now. I was alone in this mess that is my life.

I watched as Charlie set my things on the floor. He straightened up and tried to look me in the face, but he seemed unable, almost nervous. Yeah, my Dad was one of _those_ Dad's. He struggles to talk through things with me, especially those things of a personal nature, but that was exactly the way I liked it. Like I said, we share an understanding. He must've noticed that something was off about my demeanour, but decided not to question me about it. Thankfully. I couldn't deal with that right now.

He mumbled something along the lines of "Well, I guess I'll leave you to it then", I simply nodded at him before he meandered out of my room. I closed the door and returned it to its locked state. I let myself fall back against it, looking for a little support, but in the process I managed to smash my elbow into the doorframe. I let out a little yelp of agony as the pain shot all the way up my arm. _He'd_ left his mark on me, but it was nothing permanent, the sling would be gone in a few weeks and I'd be able to near enough use my arm normally.

_Except from the damn cast that they'll no doubt put on your arm._

I went over to my bags and rummaged through the smallest of the three to find my miniature pharmacy. I pulled out the bottle of painkillers and tipped two into the palm of my good hand. I dry swallowed them and scrunched my face up at their bitter after taste. I sat down on the edge of my bed waiting for them to do their thing and after a couple of minutes the pain in my arm had subsided and I made my way back to my computer, switched on the monitor and was once again faced with those words. There was a lump in the back of my throat as I hit delete, but I couldn't shake away the anxiety, the fear, the pain of the memories...

I turned off my computer and went to lie down on my bed. I stared up at the ceiling for I don't know how long, I let my mind go blank at a pathetic attempt at trying to relax, but how could I relax when...when... I found myself absent-mindedly rubbing my stomach, tears rolled down the side of my face. I couldn't fight this. My body convulsed as I closed my eyes and let the quiet sobs consume me.

_**A/N**_

_**So? How was it? You know what I'd just LOVE?...For you to hit the review this chapter link right down there...You know you want to, it's so tempting, right? ;) Want to know what's up with Bella? I'll update if I get any responses :)**_


End file.
